Adopted by Design

Nine Years Later

Yuri Day was brought into his family from Ukraine as a seven year old boy, by parents who faithfully followed God's calling to adopt. Watch this inspiring video of Yuri and his parents recalling his adoption, and how Yuri overcame physical challenges to thrive in high school and among his peers.

Love Story Across Oceans: MyFoxHOUSTON.com 

If you would like more information on Ukraine adoption, visit our Ukraine page or our Waiting Children pages.

Stretching - A Poem of Reflection on Older Children Adoption

Stretching

I completely missed the pregnancy--

and the diapers.

"Mom, I was always dirty."

and the first words (in a foreign tongue)

and the tottling steps.

 

He missed several steps too.

Pain will do that.

It takes away more than words

lost in translation.

 

All these years later,

I can't find the beginning

of the trail of tears

that's backed up,

 

But I can stretch enough

to peer over the high wall

surrounding his heart

to really see him.

 

And with a gentle hand on his shoulder,

I can nudge him forward.

 

CE Gallagher

4/17/12

Turning Sadness Into Joy

Adoptive mom Karen shares her family's story of how they bonded with their daughter:

Our first few months home with our daughter were awesome, but then we noticed some sensory issues- today we call it "orphanage hangover." Our travel group shared stories of joy, bonding and family that we couldn't relate to. Our world changed after our daughter came home. We couldn't eat at a restaurant, go to the mall, or go on vacation. Our routine was set 24/7, never changing. Otherwise, she'd fall completely apart.

Our TG friends were supportive. One did point out (words I clung to for two years) that of all the families in our group she could have gone to, how blessed she is to have a doctor for a dad and a developmental disabilities trained social worker for a mom. Because of our education, we saw the signs early and could seek treatment. Two years of OT, play therapy and speech therapy gave her the tools to cope and us the tools to help.

Today, she is a happy, well-adjusted seven year old. We are equipped to help her handle big changes. In two days, we leave on a vacation to Paris, France -- something I never dreamed we'd be able to do with her four years ago. She is excited about the adventure and still sleeping at night! 

I know that adoption preparation has changed a lot since we brought Ellie home, but I want to offer support and encouragement to other families however I can. God has brought other families with sensory overload into our lives these past few years. I marvel how he takes our sadness and turns it to joy as we encourage friends to push through and offer a glimpse of the light at the end of their tunnel. He's amazing!!! We are blessed.

Karen has gracioiusly offered to make herself available to other families who are struggling with similar issues. If you'd like to talk to her more, please email blog@awaa.org and we will put you in contact.

From Travel Group to Family

The cover of the America World calendar this year is a photo of eight girls, all from China. They are all from the same province in China, and the families of these girls met during travel. This travel group has a fun and unique story of the close bond they have formed since returning from China. Please enjoy their story and pictures below, written and submitted by several of the moms. Thanks to Cindy Martens for organizing.

There were 11 families who received their babies one day in Guangdong, and we all really feel like we became one big family.  We have a single mom, one family who had adopted previously, some who were first time parents and some who had older biological children, and yet when we're all together, our diversity only seems to bring us closer.  Our girls are uniquely all within six months of age of each other and will all be in the same grade.  They call each other their China sisters and, no matter how long they've been apart, they fall back into a beautiful familiarity with each other. 

We regularly email each other, we visit as much as we can, and we arrange mini- and entire group reunions whenever possible. We've had mini reunions everywhere from St. Louis to Washington, D.C., to Pennsylvania! Our families, though we are from all different backgrounds and places in parenting and live all across the country, we couldn't be closer in our hearts.  We all say we truly formed a family on that hot day in a crowded conference room in Guangzhou, China.  What a blessing it is to all of us!

I still marvel at this “red couch” photo, where we were able to get seven of our eleven sitting beautifully without crying! 

This is a photo of their birthday party that we threw for them while in China.  Most of us missed their first birthdays, so we gave the girls a party together! Finding a cake proved to be pretty challenging, so we bought them each individual cakes from the hotel's restaurant.

Here is our first Guangdong Girls reunion when our girls were just two.  This time we had TEN of eleven there.  As you can see, they weren't quite as cooperative that time around! We are still waiting for that elusive photo of all eleven. 

While we were anxious to meet other families in our adoption group, we never dreamed that we'd grow to love these families as our own.  We realize that ours is a special connection, and its greatest value is the gift it is for our girls to be able to remain close and maintain their own connection to their beginnings.  My personal prayer is that it will give them a sense of belonging beyond their own families and purpose in where they are now.

Unexpected Conversations: Naming a Birth Mother

In our prayer time today at AWAA, we took a moment to reflect and pray for the birthmothers around the world who are unable to provide a home for their children due to various circumstances they are faced with. We would like to share with you a cute story from a mother who had a conversation with her son about his birth mom while shopping in Wal-Mart.

A Conversation at Wal-Mart: Naming a Birth Mother

God gave me wisdom in a most unexpected setting- 
by Julia DesCarpentrie

When I envision having a profound conversation with one of my children, I picture us snuggled in my big comfy chair in the living room, a compassionate facial expression, and great wisdom pouring out from my tongue.  Reality: Wal-Mart is not exactly my living room, though I spend a significant amount of my life there.  But that is my youngest child's ideal setting for meaningful conversations.  My face is expressing concentration on the shopping combined with confusion as I wrack my brain for the profound wisdom needed. 

My boy has a great imagination, and on one visit to Wal-Mart our grocery cart became a super sonic jet transporting us to China to visit "that big block sidewalk."  (Great Wall, maybe?)  I wasn't really paying much attention to his chatter, until my brain locked in on the words "meeting that lady, the China mommy."  This was the first time he had brought up his birth mom on his own, though I have initiated conversations about his birth family.  He asked what her name was and I explained that we did not know.  Would he like to think up a name that he could call her?  He thought this was a fine idea and we sifted through names such as Julia, Kilyan, and Coco, until he decided that this was a matter requiring prayer. 

So in the dairy section, he asked Jesus to help him remember his birth mom's name.  The prayer was followed by a time of silence.  My heart was heavy with the inability to provide my son with this little piece of his background.  I finally broke the silence, only to have him quickly quiet me as he was "trying to listen for Jesus" to reveal his birth mom's name.  A little more time passed, and amongst the canned goods I suggested we call her Mae Lin.  This was accepted, and he now has a name for the woman who loved him enough to give him life. 

Later, sitting in our comfy chair in the living room, we discussed why his birth mom could not leave her name.  We prayed that we could meet "Mae Lin" in heaven some day and know her real name.  And my quiet prayer was one of thanksgiving to the God in control and the granter of wisdom in Wal-Mart.

Hope Blankets: Following His Call to Care For Orphans

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.
Ephesians 3:20-21

We are the Gosnell family, we have four biological sons, and we are adopting our daughter from China.  When we began the adoption process, we felt the great desire not only to change the life of our daughter, but to impact the lives of other orphans as well.

As we began  praying about fundraisers, God gave us the idea of Hope Blankets.  We purchased over 100 soft security blankets, and AWAA agreed to help us send them to one of their partnership orphanages in China. 

On September 18, after much prayer and great support from our church leadership, we celebrated Hope Blanket Kick-Off Day.  We asked families to sponsor a blanket for $25, to cover the cost of the blanket and shipping, and to help us with adoption expenses.  The sponsor families then took their blanket home, praying over it and for the child who would receive it.  Then, a few weeks later, on Hope Blanket Collection Day (AKA: Orphan Sunday), we asked all the families to bring their blankets to Sunday morning worship where we prayed for them as a congregation.

Family Spotlight

Let America World spotlight your family!

Over the years, I have had the wonderful task to work on America World’s annual calendar.  Through these pictures, I’ve been provided the unique privilege to peer into the joys and love that families experience through the wonderful act of adoption.

Each year I speak with families who love the calendar just as much as I do (if not, more) because the pictures remind them that God is actively building families through adoption.  Time and time again, folks have communicated to me that they appreciate being able to celebrate the miracle of adoption as they view the beaming face of each adopted child.

Obviously, the calendar is only a small representation of all of the families that have been completed through the miracle of adoption.  We receive thousands of pictures each year from families whom are excited to show others how much of a blessing their son(s) and/ or daughter(s) are.

Because it is our desire to be able to celebrate families that have been built through God’s design of adoption more than just once a year, America World is beginning a new venture on our blog: the Family Spotlight.

Here’s how it will work:

Every week we’ll put the spotlight on an adopted child and/ or their families on our blog.  We’ll include a handful of pictures (provided by the family).  We will also provide participating families with a handful of fun and simple questions for the parents or the child to answer and return to us.  For example, you might see the questions: What are your child(ren)’s favorite activities?  What is one favorite family memory?  How have you seen your child(ren) be a blessing to extended family/ your church/ your community?  Once we've collected all the pieces, we'll post these on our blog to share with others.

In this way, we hope that families will not only be able to celebrate God’s faithfulness to your family, but also to feel more connected with the adoption community at large.

If you are interested in being featured in the Family Spotlight, or simply have questions, please email your pictures and completed copy of the Media Consent and Release Form* to media@awaa.org.  (These submitted pictures can also be used for our 2012 Annual Calendar Contest, if you wish.)

*Once you have filled out, signed and returned the current version of the Media Release Form to America World, we will keep this on file so that you will not have to fill this out again for any upcoming projects or events.

In Him,

Jason West, Director of Development

HIV Is Not a Death Sentence

The following testimony was sent to us by a mother who adopted her son two years ago. His name has been changed to protect his identity. Although privacy is desired, this mother is willing to be contacted if you have more questions regarding HIV adoption. Please email blog@awaa.org for more information.

Since bringing our son “Adam” home from Ethiopia in 2009, we have often been asked by fellow AWAA families about HIV positive adoption and I always have two answers for them. HIV is not the difficult “issue” here, and secondly, “How could it not be God’s will to adopt an HIV positive/special needs child?”  I have never read a verse in the Bible where it says, “Run from the sick, don’t take care of those with special needs, and don’t do anything that is uncomfortable.”

We are the body of Christ. If it isn’t us who will bring these children into our families, then who will?

HIV is not a death sentence. HIV is a chronic, manageable condition that if treated properly is considered easier to manage than diabetes. Every three months we bring our son to see his specialist at the children’s hospital, he gets blood work, then home we go. His medications are adjusted based on his weight gain every three months and we make sure to strictly administer them twice a day. If he cuts himself we simply put on gloves and give a quick band aide. When others become curious or probe for answers that are not needed to be given, we redirect the conversation. Only our closest friends and family are aware of his status, which gives us and our son a support system in which to have total honesty. Maybe one day our son won’t mind sharing his positive status with the neighbor or random person, but for now we are going to be mindful about whom we tell. Once it is let out, he can never get that privacy back. Disclosure of his HIV positive status should be done with his best interest in mind. At the same time, we also want to emphasize that we don’t need to hide or be ashamed of this, so it is a tricky balance.

Believe it or not, that is all I have to say about HIV and that is all I tell families who call me with questions about HIV positive adoption. What I tell them next is something I hope they really take into prayer and think seriously about- the emotional, psychological, physical and spiritual needs of their adopted child. We have focused 10% on Adam’s HIV, and 90% on these other areas. Our son came home to us at only 2 ½ years old, and the trauma he experienced in those years was horrible. The nannies at the transition home were wonderful but everything he experienced in his forming years has affected him.  I have stayed home with Adam since he came home. We have worked through and continue to work through anxiety, fear of African Americans, sleeping difficulties, ADHD behavior, and Sensory Processing Disorder. We have been to occupational therapy, read books, listened to lectures, and really have been doing “therapeutic parenting” since he came home. You can’t expect to bring your child home and just say, “Ok go play, or here’s your class go to school now, or run 100 errands in one day.”  Love, safety, consistency, structure and JESUS is what our children need.

“The Adoption Crusade” – Learning from Critics

In response to a misleading article in Friday’s The Nation, Christian Alliance for Orphans President, Jedd Medefind, suggests that supporters of Christian adoption and orphan care learn from critics.  Medefind’s article, “The Adoption Crusade” can be found on the Christianity Today website along with a link to Kathryn Joyce’s article from The Nation, “The Evangelical Adoption Crusade”.

Our Girl

My husband and I got engaged in 1999 and got married later that year.  During our engagement we started discussing how we would like our future to look including how many children we wanted in our family.  During the course of that conversation we naively and tacitly agreed we would have two kiddos---one biological and one adopted.

In 2002, we decided to get serious about starting a family.  Since we figured it would be “easiest” we went about the conventional route of “making a family.”  Two years later--after one miscarriage and a full six months of clomid we still weren’t pregnant.  I encountered a book called “Adoption after Infertility.”  Through this book I was able to start processing the loss of having a biological child.  The Lord held my hand during this very low point and showed me that He had a plan for my family that I couldn’t even imagine.  One month later, after many tears I was pregnant.  Our son was born on Easter Day in 2005. 

About the time our son turned 18 months we discussed enlarging our family.  After prayer and discussion we decided to stick with our original plan of adding to our family via adoption.  After attending an adoption conference and talking to a host of families who had adopted we decided to adopt from China.  From the beginning of the process I felt most comfortable adopting a child who was 18 months or younger.   However, Jeremy (my husband) was comfortable adopting a much older child.   We submitted our application to America World in June of 2007 for a healthy baby 18 months or younger. 

As the wait for an infant became longer and my son was becoming older we felt the Lord prompt us to join the Waiting Child program.  We submitted our application for a child 2 and under and continued to wait.  The waiting wasn’t as hard for us as I imagine it was for many who are awaiting the opportunity to be first-time parents but the Lord was showing me in particular that our family would be different than I originally envisioned.  After much prayer and soul searching we changed our waiting child application to a child 8 and under.  My husband and I have always made decisions based on if we are “like minded.”  We joke that Jeremy often comes around to my way of thinking but this time the Lord brought me around to his idea—we were now both open to adopting an older child.

After changing our paperwork we received a call from America World the next day asking us if we were interested in looking at a referral for a 7 year old girl on the waiting child list.  Jeremy never one to make a rash decision looked at the picture and said that’s “our girl.”  I nervously agreed! 

We traveled to bring our daughter home in late summer of 2009.  While in China we realized that our girl was born about the time we started trying to add to our family in 2002.  The Lord had answered our prayers in 2002 in ways that would couldn’t even begin to comprehend.

Lillian BeiBei has been home for almost a year and a half.  We believe that the Lord guided us to our daughter.  She has been a perfect addition to our family and it is hard to remember what life was like before she came home. 

 

The Lord not only provided a wonderful daughter for us but the experience has made us all better people.  The decision to adopt an older child should not be taken lightly but with God’s guidance it could be just what your family needs.  It was certainly true in our case. 

-Andrea Funk