America World Adoption News

Adopting a Deaf Child: Meet Levi

If you see my family, three things stand out immediately:

• We are a bi-racial family. (My husband is Caucasian, I am Mexican, and our kids are Ethiopian.) 
• My husband and I are in our mid-twenties and have a teenager and a nine-year old.
• My 14-year old son is profoundly deaf and we use American Sign Language (ASL) to communicate.

My son Levi is Deaf. And he's also a normal teen. He's growing like a weed (soon he will be eye level with me *sigh*), he eats like a horse, and he loves basketball, soccer, movies, pizza, his friends, and cell phones. He has a smile that lights up everything around him, and a love for Jesus that shines right through him. He talks (signs) non-stop.

And six months ago, he had a vocabulary of 25 signs. 

Levi grew up in Ethiopia with no education and no formal language. I mean, NONE. Can you imagine being locked inside yourself in a world of silence? Not being able to communicate with others? Not being able to tell them how you feel or what you want? Not understanding what people want of you? Not understanding when people laugh at a joke? Not knowing your siblings' names? That's just part of what Levi lived with for 14 years. And it's a wonder he didn't lose his mind and become a frustrated, violent mess. And probably why he signs 24/7 now.

When we met Levi on our court trip, he had about 25 "home signs", which are signs he had invented as a system of communicating with his caretakers and friends. He had just started going to a deaf school in Addis, and was learning some Ethiopian sign language. Between learning Levi's home signs, teaching him some of ours (I am an ASL-English interpreter), and gesturing, the three of us were able to communicate at a basic level immediately.

When Levi and Zahria (his biological sister) came home in November, 2012, they could not communicate with each other at all. Six months later, I couldn't get them to stop talking (signing) if I tried. Zahria actually said the other day: "Mommy, before in Ethiopia, me and Levi no can talk. None. Me don't know him. Now us talk all da time!!!" Here is a video of them: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8RDNx47pXv8 

By the world's standards, Levi is "disabled." “Disabled” implies that something is wrong with him. I don't consider him disabled; he just can't hear. He functions as a normal teenager and basically the only differences are that we use ASL to communicate, and we need interpreters for public events, appointments, etc. Minor adjustments are also that instead of calling Levi's name to get his attention, we wave, or tap him on the shoulder, or flash a light switch so that he turns to face us.

Maybe right about now you're thinking, "Hey Marissa, that's cool that you know ASL and have a Deaf son, but I don't know any sign language and that's scary!"

It's totally scary! But it's okay! Not knowing sign language should NOT stop you from considering a deaf child. While both parents knowing ASL would be ideal, it's not the only option. If you are truly willing to learn to sign and communicate with your deaf child, and provide them the resources where THEY can learn to sign or communicate with their mode of preference (sign, sign and speech, oral only, etc.), then perfection doesn't matter. Effort and willingness are the keys. 90% of deaf children are born to hearing parents and those parents didn't know sign when their kids were born. You can do this!

Not all deaf people are the same. That seems obvious, but what I mean is that deaf people do not all identify themselves the same, and they use different modes of communication, depending on their personal preference. The two main categories are: Deaf (viewing themselves as a cultural minority and using American Sign Language to communicate), and hard-of-hearing or hearing impaired (using spoken English and or a mixture of spoken and signed English or ASL). People with a cultural view use a capital "D" to define themselves as Deaf. Deaf/hard-of-hearing people also have a range of hearing loss. Levi is 80 and 90db. Basically, a rock concert sounds like a whisper to him.

There are lots of resources for families with deaf children, although they vary depending on the area. Each state typically has one school for the deaf, and that would be the best place to get resources in your specific area. Schools for the deaf typically provide sign language classes, a schedule of deaf events in their area, audiology and speech therapy, hearing aid repairs and resources, sports/recreation, as well as education in a signed environment. Example: www.rsdeaf.org

Another resource for communication between Deaf and hearing individuals is a videophone. If I am away from the house, I could call Levi on my phone, using a video relay service with interpreters. www.sorensonvrs.com

There are also multiple online stores that sell devices such as flashing doorbells and vibrating alarm clocks, and other devices designed for deaf/hard-of-hearing people. http://store.hdscenter.org/ 

Language resources are available too, with websites showing videos of single signs and concepts in ASL (although they do not teach sentence structure, syntax, or grammar). I also have a YouTube page where I post videos of specific signs to help our family communicate with Levi.

ASL Dictionary: www.aslpro.com

ASL Dictionary: www.lifeprint.com

My YouTube page: http://www.youtube.com/user/SignLanguageBasics

If you are considering a deaf child, or just want to ask questions, please feel free to email me at marissa.fiddle@gmail.com. I would love to talk with you!

-Marissa Ruper

Jude's Journey

Adoptive mom Beth was recently featured on the Ergobaby blog, giving readers a look into her family's adoption process and the subsequent bonding and attachment. Beth, who adopted through the Ethiopia Waiting Child Program, writes about the fear of the unknown when adopting a child with a special need. For little Jude, though his condition sounded serious, the love of his family has helped him thrive.

"The doctors say that his brain suffered from failure to thrive, a condition usually caused by general neglect. Orphanages simply cannot provide the love and stimulation that a family can and his little brain was permanently changed because of it. Now that he’s with a family, he’s caught up developmentally and is absolutely the best baby I’ve ever met."

Check out the full article here. If you are considering adoption, we encourage you to give our experienced staff a call to learn about the conditions of any of our waiting children.

Adopting as a Military Family - The Hathaways

Army Maj. Peter Hathaway and his wife Kristen were recently featured in an article about how they overcame the challenges of international adoption as a military family. The Hathaways adopted their daughter from Ethiopia through America World.

Both Peter and Kristen had a desire to adopt before they met, so when the timing was right, they began considering an agency and a country. They chose Ethiopia in large part due to Kristen's missions work in Kenya and her burden for African orphans, partucluarly with special needs. They accepted the referral of an eight year old girl named Tshion and hope to bring her home by the end of this month. 

Read the full article, written by Army Sgt. Adrianna Barnes, on the Department of Defense website. To learn more about adopting from Ethiopia, click here.

“Family is not just about blood, color or anything else that we like to separate ourselves by. It is about loving another human being. It is about living out your life sacrificially for another person so that they might see their worth or beauty.” -Kristen Hathaway

While You Are Waiting...

We have a special guest post to start this week from adoptive mom Jenn about the purpose and lessons in waiting. Be sure to check out her blog over at Pure and Lasting.

So here we are in our last stage of waiting for Maya’s adoption to be complete. It has been a long road. We applied to our agency, America World Adoption, on May 14, 2010. Our dossier was sent to Ethiopia on November 19, 2010. Our estimated wait for a referral was 7-9 months. We waited 19 months to see her beautiful face. The wait was longer than we ever expected, but worth every moment.

This week, I got the sweetest message from a blog reader. She sent in her paperwork a few months ago and was asking for advice on the waiting stage. I thought I would share our experience here on the other side. When we decided to adopt, I read lots and lots of blogs. I ran across many blogs filled with posts bemoaning the wait, desperate to be on the other side of the wait. Chris and I had several conversations about waiting, waiting longer than we expected. We made a conscious decision to settle into the wait, snuggle up and accept it. Every time it got hard, we would remind each other (ok, HE would remind ME!) that this was a choice that we made, knowing that there would be a wait, knowing that there were so many unknowns and there was nothing we could do about it. Our daughter was in Ethiopia. It sounds so simple, but the way we waited was to just accept that we would wait. Deep down acceptance. Accepting what you cannot change. It is something Chris does so well and I have learned through this process. Don’t let waiting steal your joy. It is one of the many lessons that adopting has taught me.

We also believed that God had a plan for us and for our family. A plan that we did not know. So we had to trust. Either we believe God has a plan or we believe He doesn’t. There isn’t much middle ground. For us, we got the amazing, in-the-flesh, obvious proof that God had a specific plan for us through our trip to Ethiopia/Rwanda and Alain coming to live with us. If we had filled out our paperwork any sooner or if the waiting time had been any shorter, he would not be here with us. It makes me shudder just to think about it. Why we are waiting isn’t always so obvious, but I try to remember in those moments that I cannot see everything. What I think is not always what is best. What God has planned is better.

Waiting has a purpose in the process. Adopting a child is not always easy. Attachment is not instant. Bonding takes time. As parents, we have a lot to learn, to prepare for before our child is home. Waiting is vital to the process. Use this time of waiting to prepare your home, your family, your friends and your heart. Adding a child to your family will begin a new stage in your life, an amazing one, but a new one. Let me encourage you (and me!) not to forget to celebrate the stage that you are in now. The waiting isn’t to be overlooked or fast-forwarded. It can be celebrated. Spend more time with your spouse. Do new things with your children at home now. Visit your parents. Go on a mission trip. Talk to your friends and family about adoption and sponsorship. Keep busy with other things. Read. Learn. Live the life you have now, don’t waste today waiting. Be open to God changing you. I am certainly not the same person who filled out that application two years ago. My heart is transformed. My priorities have been rearranged. My desires are new. Embrace the wait.

2 Corinthians 4:16-18 That is why we never give up. Though our bodies are dying, our spirits are being renewed every day. For our present troubles are quite small and won’t last very long. Yet they produce for us an immeasurably great glory that will last forever! So we don’t look at the troubles we can see right now; rather, we look forward to what we have not yet seen. For the troubles we see will soon be over, but the joys to come will last forever.

And because they are the two most beautiful children on the planet and worth EVERY MOMENT OF WAITING!! My sweet boy and his new sister. Melt my heart. This cannot truly be my life :) So blessed!! -Jenn

Our Journey to Zoe Moon

We were married in 2003 and from the first day of our lives together, we both felt a God given desire to adopt children. We began having biological children in 2004 and continued in 2005, 2007 and 2008. Each year we would re-visit the conversation about adoption, but each year the timing did not feel right. In 2010 we sensed that it was now time to follow through on the things that God had placed in our hearts all of those years earlier. So, 7 years and 4 boys later, we filled out our application with America World Adoption Agency and set out on our journey to adopt our first baby girl. Her name would be Zoe Moon and this is the story of our family's journey to her.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3h7s7movdG4

- the Jeansonne family 

Growing a Family Our Way

Growing up I was not the type of girl who dreamed about my wedding day, my Prince Charming, and our happily ever after. Nevertheless from a young age, I believed marriage and family were special, important, and sacred. They were two things in life that needed to be taken seriously and that should be seen as special gifts. When my husband & I got married, we both knew that in the near future we would like to have a family, and we both knew that our family might be a bit different than the traditional family.

When most people think about starting a family, they think about the traditional method: husband and wife get pregnant and 9 months later a beautiful baby is born. As we began talking about staring a family, we both had a desire to birth children, but we also had a desire to grow our family by a non-traditional method. I birthed our first son when I was 25 years old, and I birthed our second son when I was 27 years old. Our daughter was born when I was 29 years old, but I did not birth her. She was born in the beautiful countryside in Ethiopia, Africa. She is our daughter by adoption.

Everyone has a different reaction to our decision to grow our family through adoption. Some people are excited and supportive. Some think we are doing a “kind deed” by helping the poor child. Others are skeptical and wonder if we will love the child the same as our birthed children. Some people feel the need to share some examples of other adopted children who rebelled when they grew up and treated their adoptive parents poorly. Others are in dismay as to why we would adopt a child when I can physically birth children, and they are perplexed as to why we would want a child of another race. Others are against adoption, especially international adoption.

Our reason for adoption is simple: love. We wholeheartedly believe that every child is uniquely created and is deserving of love. We believe that every child, regardless of skin color and special needs, was created to grow up in the context of a loving family. All children were wonderfully and lovingly made, but we also know that this world often times is not what it should be. We have all experienced heartaches and pain. We have all been let down by others or felt the pains of rejection. Some of us have experienced poverty, discrimination, and other disadvantages. Deep down within all of us, we know that this is not the way we were created to live. We were created for more.

Waiting Children from Ethiopia Adopted!

A recent America World family just arrived home with the newest additions to their family..a sibling group of FOUR from Ethiopia!  The four children were featured on our Ethiopia Waiting Children list and this family took a look at them and knew God was calling them to adopt these children.

Their family motto is "I'd choose you again."  They are the amazing parents to 3 biological children and one new grandbaby, 2 domestically adopted children and now 4 Ethiopian children......and several children they have fostered over the years.   They are truly an inspiration to everyone who knows and loves them! 

What a glimpse into heaven to see 4 beautiful children literally cross over from ashes to beauty, from lost to found, from fatherless to adopted....

Here they are in Ethiopia and home here in the States!

   

To see more children on the Ethiopia Waiting Children's List, please contact Terra Bailey at terra.bailey@awaa.org. Thank you!

A Day in the Life...

Baby Ezra's family created a beautiful photo montage. We hope you enjoy it. You can read about his adoption on the family's blog site: Bringing Home Ezra

Before & After Adoption

The Hutchinson family adopted two sibling little girls from Ethiopia just a few weeks ago.  Their most recent blog is such a great testimony to the miracle of adoption.

During the 5 months that we waited for a successful court date we received quite a few updates and photos of Ella Furtuna. Over and over we saw a scared and sad little girl.

 

Ella has been home with us for 6 weeks and has become a confident, happy, goofy and fun little girl. I saw a dramatic change at about the 3 week mark. It seemed like a switch was flipped and suddenly there was nothing but “sugar” in her whole personality. After a few weeks of that “honeymoon” behavior things seem to be stabilizing and I see a more natural balance between happiness and normal crabby or frustrated behavior. Of course, we also have the occasional very bad day with all sorts of the old behaviors showing up.

Things may change by next week or next month, but for now, Ella looks more like this: 

 

Baby David is now a Stager!

 

Congratulations to the Stager Family for their adoption of baby David Million Elijah!  You can read more about their journey on their personal blogsite, TeamStager.